Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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