This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
