How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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