If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
