There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How does it feel to date your dad?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize