Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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