Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she looked like the before picture.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
