so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
