If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
