According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
