We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
