i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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