Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
