I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize