Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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