areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
