we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
