i can't believe i had my finger in that
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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