I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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