i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
