I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Randomize
