Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
