Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
