Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
