Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How does one acquire holy water?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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