Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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