i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
