That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There r osticjed everywhere
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
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You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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