I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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