dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
