he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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