shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
