if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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