I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
