The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
