mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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