Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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