buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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