there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
