Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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