i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
