I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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