I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it glows. i had to have it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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