i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
