we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize