mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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