I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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