just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I need moral support for this bender
I will be naked everywhere
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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