You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
