his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize