If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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