I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's JV to your varsity
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
