K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
