then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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